The Guardian: Any advice for a 21-year-old who hates their job and has the possibility of traveling the world? And has a boyfriend that they like. (This is for a friend.)
Rob Delaney: Go do it. Fuck him. Is he a guy in his 20s? Then he’s the least significant type of person on the planet. A male in their 20s? Run in the opposite direction. Nothing he says matters; his fears, his hopes his dreams are garbage. Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet. Go, go to Uzbekistan, go to South Korea, just go anywhere he isn’t because men in their 20s are bad for young women.
The Guardian: So what do women in their 20s do?
Rob Delaney: Masturbate. Date other women for a while. Use men sexually for a while but don’t ever invite their opinion or be bound to them in any way.
Later that evening at a study session:
Me: This essay is garbage.
Friend: Is your essay the hopes and dreams of a man in his 20s?
Friend: [meaningful pause]
Some folks say, have always said: Lower your voice. Pull up your pants. Look respectable and you’ll get respect. Do those people not realize that our most eloquent, respectable leaders were all murdered in cold blood, all in their suits and ties? No, fuck what you think of our clothes or manner of speaking—we have a right to life.
She did not flinch. “My past,” she told the room, “is littered with the bones of men who were foolish enough to think I was someone they could sleep on.”
Someday I want a reason to say this about myself to a room fool of people.
He looks so YOUNG!!!!!
So deliciously young…